There is something that comes before our influences. Something overlooked inside of us that needs to resonate with those influences first. Almost like a hibernating life form, waking up to familiar voices in the spring. For me they were the mesmerizing sounds of a more sophisticated kind of pop and rock, especially during the late eighties and early nineties. 


I grew up with great mainstream radio, my parents' records and South Africa's Pop Shop compilations. In high school I stumbled across my first melodies by messing around on the instruments of my friends and after only one year in music college,  I realized that I was learning nothing new with theory for what I could already do creatively. It was time to be led into the wilderness to be tested.  
 

A circus of bands, labels, jobs and courses took me through many of my fondest memories in the UK and South Africa. But there was a pattern. One that would start with positive reviews, airplay and live shows, only to be followed by another disbandment. Since I was a particularly dedicated member of my music projects, I became increasingly depressed and mystified by this relentless carousel of dead horses. In fact, I seriously had to start being more dedicated to myself if I was going to keep it together. There was really a time when those who lived close to me and witnessed this viscious cycle for years on end, were with no exaggeration convinced that some kind of spiritual stronghold repeatedly undermined the things that started to work out for me. It was that bizarre. Little did I know that the "failures" were examinations and The Freddie Erasmus Tapes, the graduation thesis. These seasons in our lives are spiritually known as deserts, storms and winters.

In 2015 I decided to study counseling, just to qualify myself in something new that I could enjoy. It didn't even cross my mind that it would be therapy for me, even though I had many epiphanies with this indescribably special family at ABBO. The most important one being a question posed by our lecturer, that would finally turn around the lost ship for me: "Has it ever occured to you that God Himself might be holding you back?" And if that's the case and He is good, then there is a good reason for it, right?  

It was also around this time that I discovered Carolle Watson, whom I was supremely blessed to have known as a personal mentor, before her passing in 2018. Carolle spoke the language of artists, our calling, spiritual seasons and the biblical meanings of numbers and colours. So I wrote down all my song titles on pieces of paper one day, packed them out on a big table and looked at them afresh, through the eyes of new revelation knowledge. As I unscrambled them into what seemed to be central themes, I noticed an intricate concept album series, that was being delivered to me all this time. And not in chapters following order, but in segments that would only make sense, once joined together as a whole. Thus confirming that it wouldn't be understood by the audience or the artist until the appointed time. I wasn't falling behind all these years. I was actually writing and recording ahead, which also allowed me to refine my production skills in the process. Even the graphic design course I did in London wasn't destined for anything menial, but to have complete creative control and proficiency to create and solely provide the best visual cohesion for the music. 

I believe that the time and places we live, the people we meet and what we go through in our past can never be a waste, mistake or coincidence, as long as we choose to put it to good use and context for the future. I know circles and dead ends and what it feels like to find the right off-amp when the party is over. But that is also why I've already had a Mimosa and a coffee by the time you arrive for breakfast. Don't give up because you're the tortoise in the Aesop's Fable. Things will happen for us at the right time: when we are truly ready.  

 - Freddie Erasmus, Sep 2